DVD Review - The Descent -SPOILER ALERT-

If you are afraid of the following things do not watch this film: creepy cabins, groups of women, the woods, caves, enclosed spaces, really enclosed spaces, the dark, mutant cannibals, english accents, badly presented out-takes, visceral frights.
All others give it a go.

I was sceptical going in to this one. Everyone told me it was SUPER scary and that is usually the kiss of death for a horror flick for me. I normally like scary movies that people say are "too gross to watch", or "over the line". Or even "there's scary, and then theres beyond watchable". They said that about Wolf Creek*. (*see earlier review) Some even said that about Hostel*, though I only agree to a point. (*also reviewed here)
With this one I wasn't sure, and in the first few scenes, tho there were some good creepout scares to suck me in, I was interested but expecting a lot.

First off, the choice to film this spelunking horror in almost total darkness was good in that you get a real sense of the claustrophobia the characters were feeling. They couldn't see a damn thinig and neither could you. The problem with this is when the story progresses past the simple fear of the unknown and delves into the realm of the mysterious stalking creature, and once you know it exists you have to be able to see what the fuck is going on. I mean as an audience member you can only listen to so many battles during which a light flickers and an otherworldly translucsent eye flashes before you begin to wonder who's winning? Is it my girls or the creepy bald naked crawly dudes?
I used the word 'visceral' earlier.
The films strengths (and there are many) lie in the scares you wait for and ultimately don't expect. The Descent is most effective when it builds up to a scare, like in the first half. In the second half you have to battle the lighting and rely on your memory of which blonde pretty girl is which? And which exotic brunette is which? So when exotic brunette is screaming for blonde girl, who is calling for who? In the beginning we see them all at a reunion but they don't use each others' names effectively enough for me to know who's who later when it matters.
Was I scared? Most of the time, yeah. The Descent was good at being creepy and shocking at times. But once they enter the deeper cave I was glaring at the dark screen wondering, "who is dying? Who survived? Who escaped? What's that thing?" And that would all be fine if in the end we realized it was all for a reason.
Guess what...
Yeah, thats right, when I saw the end I was shocked visually, but ultimately I was left cold. I think if you have to read the director's explanation to confirm you got the ending then it obviously wasn't a good ending.
Yeah, I figured it out, but I couldn't believe it was that lame so I did some research and again, guess what, that was it.

Would I recommend this one? Sure. It's scary. It's def creepy.
I think at one point in my reviews I was gonna try and start a ratings system but hell if I can remember what it was. Lets say for this one, as an all over film I give it 2 out of 5. As a mindless horror I'll raise it to 3 out of 5, cos I know it depends on yer mood. If you just want a scare, go for it. If you want a good film, put it a bit lower on yer list but give it a shot.

*Coming up: a review of Artie Lange's Beer League! Now on DVD! I love this stand-up comic/Howard Stern regular so I expect great things, despite most of the reviews. I'll let you know.

-p.s. the title image is the photograph created by Salvador Dali upon which the film's poster image is based.